After watching what is happening about women and sexual assault, the doubt so many
people have about if they are really telling the truth, I decided to take excerpts from my
book and consolidate in one place. The following is scattered thru my book on the timeline
in which it happened.
When I was about 6 years old, I was molested by my maternal grandfather (a year after
my father was killed in action during WWII.) I did not say a word to anyone. I had a grand-
mother that did not hug me and my mother only hugged me when I was sick. I knew not
to be alone with him so spent the next few years escaping from situations. I finally told
my mother after I was 20 years old when she left him alone in my house with my two
little daughters. It would be 40 years at least before I found out he had molested two
more of my female cousins.
1959. One night at college I got in the car with a man I knew who was supposed to give me
a ride home. He drove out on a country road and parked. I really did not think much of it.
Till he became aggressive to the point I could not fight him off. I was 5 feet tall and
weighed about 100 pounds. Ironically, if I had not fought so hard, he would have used a
condom but he could not handle me and that at the same time. So, I wound up pregnant.
Before Roe vs. Wade. No, I did not go to any authorities. I was divorced. Who would
believe me? Little did they know, the only thing I got out of sex was human contact.
I had no libido. (A result of childhood trauma?) I remember telling my ex-mother-in-law
who responded with, “There is no such thing as rape. A girl can run faster with her
skirt up than a boy with his pants down.” (I would not develop a libido till I was
By the summer of ’71 I could push a switch in my head, turn my mind off, go blank, to
allow my husband to ‘make love’ to me. It had always been a minimum of five nights a week
whether I wanted to or not. He had even used force a few times. Once he had felt
tears on my face but that didn’t make him stop. I had stifled my impulse to scream; I had been
stifling it for years! And my mother tells me to read in the Bible, ‘Wives, submit unto your
husbands!!!'” It stopped only with divorce.
1977. I had a chance to meet the son of an ex-president of Nigeria, a very exciting idea to
me, a chance for cultural exchange. It would be a few years before I would realize I
was “set up.” No, I did not tell anyone about that rape, either. I knew it would be
hopeless to try to do anything to the son of an ex-president of Nigeria. I would be
crucified if not more.
I know there are some people who do not think a husband can rape a wife but I can tell
you from first-hand experience, they can. You learn to send your mind to another place.
And later, you fight off delusions that you were used sexually by animals. Literally.